 "Good Choice" | 2008-07-28 |
| - Reviewed By birdnestbooks |
| Bought this as a gift for a minister -- it was a good choice according to him. |
| |
| "Human understanding at its best" | 2008-05-19 |
| - Reviewed By rmuth@emory.edu |
| A compelling narrative of the life and growth in self-awareness of one of God's noblest creatures. Required reading for anyone, liberal or conservative, Christian or pagan. White argues most convincingly for the full inclusion of homosexuals in the life of church and society. |
| |
 "Sad, but agenda-based, way too subjective." | 2007-08-07 |
| - Reviewed By joypiper |
I had first read about Mel White through the eyes of grace: his best friend Philip Yancey wrote a chapter about Mel in the book "What's So Amazing About Grace?" So I approached the book "Stranger" with a grace-filled attitude toward Mel. I truly felt sorrow for his terrible struggle against his homosexual urges and attractions. Eventually, I was practically convinced that Mel had tried his best to live as a straight man. However, I was troubled when I sensed that the book was more than simply a telling of his personal struggle. Rather, it became clear that Mel was driving a personal agenda against the religious right. From that point on, I thought the book lost all credibility. If he was only honestly sharing his struggles, I was all ears. But when he began to rip those who opposed him, I lost respect. Why are people of faith who hold a high view of sexual morality held in such contempt?
I was especially troubled when Mel was not particularly upset the first time he ventured out for an illicit sexual encounter with some unknown gay man. He had broken his vow of faithfulness to his wife, with hardly a passing reference in the subsequent paragraphs. While Mel may have done a thorough review of the theology of homosexuality from the Bible, I think he undervalued the importance of keeping the marriage bed undefiled and to flee from youthful lusts. And I know he read that God hates divorce.
White describes the great turmoil that gripped him as he concludes that he must be gay. However, Mel's conclusion that he must leave his wife and family and he must pursue these sexual urges is troubling to me at many levels. I am not unsympathetic to men who are already married and then find themselves to have same sex attractions. However, I believe these attractions occur on a wide spectrum of intensity. I do not accept that these longings can only be fulfilled by sexual activity with another man. Is there no ability to restrain oneself sexually? Placing homosexuals and heterosexuals in the same category, can we not behave in a manner that transcends our urges? As a healthy heterosexual male, I find it is possible to restrain myself against my urges to have sex with young attractive females. Must I accept that Mel was incapable of holding himself back from his urges? And returning to the marriage vow discussion, is "same sex attraction" an exception to "for better or for worse" and "keeping myself only unto thee, so long as we both shall live"?
I have homosexual friends who are "gay", but sexually celibate, as well as gay and married and planning on leaving their family to act-out. I am well aware of the heart-aches on both sides of the issues. |
| |
| "A must read" | 2007-07-13 |
| - Reviewed By User: ARLC0AIIMDJ9N |
I picked this book up after reading "What's So Amazing About Grace" by Phil YancyWhat's So Amazing About Grace?in which he mentions Mel White, and I read that book after reading "god is not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything" by Christopher Hitchens.God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything
Kind of a surreal experience. Stranger at the Gate proves Hitchen's point that religion is child abuse but I doubt White would see it that way. None the less White tells harrowing stories about what he and others have done to themselves in the name of Christ. It's clear that Christians, most especially Evangelical (read Fundamentalist/Fantatical) can't think for themselves and don't care what damage they do to others as long as the march toward their world view continues.
Everyone should read this book, if you dislike Christians, if you are devout, if you are not heterosexual, if you are. If you can quote Leviticus YOU ABSOLUTELY need to read this book. You've got it wrong and Mel White will tell you why. If you refuse to read this book then you are just another narrow minded lemming...and that's really sad.
This book is a must read. |
| |
 "famous evangelical embraces his gay identity" | 2007-01-18 |
| - Reviewed By marathonerman |
| When the teenage son of one of my best friends (a pastor) announced he was gay, I knew I had to read Mel White's book. Today, White is one of the most important activists in the gay Christian community. How he came to that place is a fascinating story. Mel White hailed from two generations of stalwart Christians, and his entire life was lovingly and gladly given to their fundamentalist cause. Instead of using his scholarship to attend Stanford, he went to a Bible College, and I suspect enthusiastically so, such was his Christian ardor. As a film maker and ghost writer, he served most all the best known names of conservative Christianity--Francis Schaeffer, Billy Graham, Pat Robertson (to whom he sent money for their ministry to gays), Jerry Falwell, Jim Bakker, D. James Kennedy, and WA Criswell. His two children attended Maranatha Christian High School. "But from the beginning, I had only same-sex desires and fantasies. I didn't plan it. I didn't choose it. I didn't desire it. And no one forced it on me. I wasn't recruited, raped or abused. No one is to blame" (p. 29). That is to say, White did not have a voluntary preference to be gay. Rather, he had an entirely involuntary orientation to be gay, and he tried as vigorously as any human might struggle to sublimate and eradicate his homosexual orientation through counseling, therapy, electric shock treatments, endless prayer and exorcisms, and Valium. All of which, after about twenty five years of marriage, led to a near nervous breakdown. In a loving foreword, his wife of over two decades sets the table for her former husband's story. If you want a short, second hand account of Mel White's story, see the chapter on him in Philip Yancey's book What's So Amazing About Grace. |
| |
| "Tough Stuff" | 2007-01-04 |
| - Reviewed By dpwhitelaw |
This is tough to read. It is tough to absorb and digest. It is tough to get inside the skin of Mel White who is both thin-skinned and tough as nails. Gut-wrenching to see what our families and society put young persons through as they are seeking to understand their sexual orientation. They don't need rejection and judgment in this very tough journey. The appalling consequences of such rejection is sobering.
This writer is honest, and is prepared to expose his life and thinking to extremely close review in order to help himself and others. He deserves to be heard and read, specially by religious leaders who already claim to have reached conclusions. |
| |
| "It Brought Me to Tears" | 2006-12-20 |
| - Reviewed By jtolleson2 |
No one who hasn't lived it can possibly totally understand the anguish of being born gay or lesbian and being raised in evangelical Christianity. To those who, like me, do not wish to merely abandon the church upon coming out, the struggle remains poignant, painful, and long. This is a great book both for those who have lived through it and for those who want to understand the issue.
Social scientists almost universally believe that sexual orientation is immutable, and that efforts to change it are destructive. Sadly, a vocal part of the Christian community wishes to deny this fact and the struggle continues to victimize men, women, and families all over America. This is not the book that debates the construction of certain ostensibly anti-gay scriptural passages, etc. Rather, it tells one man's story. Perhaps that is the most important message of all, rather than merely fight about what the original Hebrew text really said about Sodom, etc. |
| |
| "Great book" | 2006-11-06 |
| - Reviewed By iuhoopboy |
| With all the hate being spewed by the religious right, it is good to read that there are some people in that camp that are TRULY religious. This book is about a true christian, not a politico looking for power and money. It would so nice if we could see gay people like this in the media as opposed to the Foley/Haggard types. |
| |
| "Great for those questioning gays and christianity." | 2006-09-15 |
| - Reviewed By bcphoenix80 |
Stranger at the Gate is an excellent read for those who are gay, and have a Christian upbringing. The first person narrative about how a gay man comes out of the closet, and how he reconciles the homophobic stance of the conservative, fundamentalist Christian church is eye-opening.
Mel's struggle will have a familiar ring to the many many gay men and women, who have have to deal with homosexuality and a Christian curch that tells then that homosexuality is a sin. Mel uses personal realizations, as well as scholarly data to refute the current stance of the religious right. Many of the strugles that Mel went though, are the some one that countless gay men and women have gone thorough, are going through, and will go though. Many people can identify with Mel, and may even come to their own conclusion at the end of the book as Mel does.
I highly reccomend this book for anyone strugling with reconciling homosexuality with Christianity. |
| |
| "A good eye-opener for thoughtful Christians" | 2004-09-16 |
| - Reviewed By lizkj |
It seems that some of the readers haven't actually READ the book, just saw what it dealt with and did some reflex Leviticus quoting.
If you are a Christian struggling to come to term with your sexuality, read this book. If you are GLBTQ and want insight into the lives of what your sisters and brothers embroiled in fundamentalism are up against, read this book.
If you're a minister in a conservative church, read this book. If you're a thoughtful Christian who adamently believes that homosexuality is a sin, read this book.
Why? Because understanding each other is important, no matter where you're at. Hearing the actual stories and struggles of another may shake your convictions a little bit, but it's something that should be done.
|
| |
Expedited Available
