 "Exit to Eden" | 2009-01-06 |
| - Reviewed By Movie Buff in the Ruff |
| One of my old favorites from Cinemax, it was something new and different back then. And it was funny to see Rosie O'Donnell play straight again. |
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 "We're the only two people on this island without handcuffs" | 2008-08-20 |
| - Reviewed By Cr@$#!!!! from Bakersfield |
What were they thinking? Perhaps director Garry Marshall thought he could do for S&M what he'd done for the women of the evening in Pretty Woman. Wrap up an edgy topic in a big cute bow, and through humor make it palatable, even entertaining, to the masses. But you thought wrong Mr. Marshall. Actually, it is a surprisingly entertaining movie, it is just that most of the humor is unintentional. You can't believe the movie got green lighted when it was so obviously doomed to be a disaster.
They took a novel by Anne Rice, written under the pseudonym of Anne Rampling (a name she chose as a tribute to actress Charlotte Rampling) and then they grafted on a totally gratuitous story about international jewell thieves and the cops (played by Dan Akroyd and Rosie O'Donnell??? and no, I am not making this up. Who could make up stuff like that?) who pursue them. Their names are Sheila Kingston and Fred Lavery. Sometimes their shtick is amusing, but more often than not it just lowers the tone of the film--which wasn't that high to begin with.
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Fred Lavery: Ok, well, I guess I'm off to your little S&M fantasy island, where the little guy runs around yelling, "The pain! The pain!"
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Sheila Kingston: How do you decide you wanna be a dominatrix? What, do you wake up one day and go, "Hey, I feel like being bossy"?
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I mean, who wants to see Akroyd OR O'Donnell in black leather bondage gear? O'Donnell undercover as a stripper is particularly cringe worthy.
It is a whole 'nother story though, to see red headed stunner Dana Delaney in and out of her outfits. As Mistress Lisa Emerson, the proprietress of an unusal island resort called Eden, she is something to witness. I wondered why I hadn't seen more of her, but I bet you that this stinkeroo of a motion picture hung around her neck like an albatross. Great career move, Dana. Lately, though, she can be seen on Wisteria Lane as the newest, and most desperately Desperate Housewife, Katherine Mayfair.
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Lisa Emerson: After a hard day of smacking people, it's nice to cuddle.
Also apparantly cursed by being a part of this misbegotten misfire was Paul Mercurio, an Australian who formed a dance company down under, turned down a part in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, and then had a hit in Strictly Ballroom. Unfortunately, he parlayed that success into this vehicle from hell. He plays photographer Elliot Slater, and his romance and pursuit of Lisa is the only part of the story that even remotely works.
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Lisa Emerson: Babies *and* bondage, I could do both?
Elliot Slater: Yeah, I'd love to say, "My wife is a dominatrix."
Lisa Emerson: I can just see myself at the kids' school on career day.
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Last but not least, Iman plays Nina Blackstone, a professional assassin in pursuit of Elliot and some incriminating photos of his. She looks marvelous, and though her acting is not going to win her any awards, she is extremely watchable. Born in Somalia, she went on to become a supermodel. She is married to David Bowie, and also holds the distinction of being the last woman to kiss Captain James T. Kirk as Martia in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. Her character in Exit to Eden is not written very well, but she too looks good in her outfits. An example of the sloppy writing would be that early on, she has a cold and sneezes. You think it will be some kind of clue, some little loose end to be tied up later. But it never is, and if it was supposed to be, it is like, they just gave up, they just gave up trying alltogether.
Though I never read any of the Vampire books of Anne Rice, other people have said that she really took the idea of the vampire and worked with it. She knew a good symbol when she saw it, and she never metaphor she didn't like.
"The vampire is always presented as someone who is living a heightened existence and that is very seductive," says Anne Rice. "He is also someone who is able to satisfy all of his cravings. I don't see this as a time of weakness at all. The vampire image reflects the enormous leap in visual perspective. This is the time of Federal Express, long-distance calls and faxes. Someone can get up in the morning and call New York or Paris. All kinds of business transactions and close book deals can be made -- it's like flying all over the world. Vampires are superhuman magnifications of us, of the way we feel in these powerful times."
Anne also says that "The vampire is that glittering, dazzling rule-breaker and outsider who has gained ascendancy over time and place."
I did read Exit to Eden, but it was a long time ago. Nevertheless, I am sure that it was well written, much more so than the script for the movie.
"To write something," says Anne Rice, "you have to risk making a fool of yourself."
She didn't make a fool of herself by writing the book, but the movie version, like Sexy Sadie, "made a fool of everyone."
Garry Marshall directed:
Pretty Woman (1990)
Iman can be seen in:
Star Trek VI - The Undiscovered Country (1991) .... Martia, the last woman to kiss William Shatner in his role as Captain Kirk.
Roles of Dan Akroyd:
The Blues Brothers (Widescreen 25th Anniversary Edition) (1980) (as Elwood) .... Akroyd was Elwood Blues, along with Blues Brother John Belushi.
Trading Places (1983) .... Stockbroker Louis Winthorpe III trades places with Eddie Murphy.
Ghost Busters (1984) .... Who you gonna call? Dan Akroyd as Dr. Raymond Stantz.
Coneheads (1993) .... A dual role for Akroyd as Beldar Conehead / Donald R. DeCicco.
Chaplin (1992) .... Dan was Mack Sennett and Robert Downey Jr. was the great Charlie Chaplin.
Casper (1995) (uncredited) .... Akroyd reprises his role from Ghostbusters as Dr. Raymond Stantz,
Crossroads (2002/I) .... Akroyd played Pete Wagner in this vehicle that was supposed to make a movie star out of Britney Spears.
Roles of Paul Mercurio:
The First 9 1/2 Weeks (1998) .... Not the one with Mickey Rourke and Kim Bassinger, or even remotely similar, but Paul's character is called Matt Wade.
Strictly Ballroom (1992) .... As Scott Hastings, Paul got to show off his fancy footwork.
Roles of Rosie O:
A League of Their Own (1992) .... Rosie as Doris Murphy played 3rd Base, but did she get to 3rd base with co-star Madonna?
The Flintstones - DTS (1994) .... Rosie was IMHO totally miscast as Betty Rubble, who was such a babe that hot women were thereafter referred to as "Betties."
"The Ren & Stimpy Show" .... The Head Barette Beret Girl (1 episode) All right, Rosie. NOW I am impressed.
- Eat My Cookies/Ren's Bitter Half (????) TV episode (voice) .... The Head Barette Beret Girl
Roles of Dana Delaney:
"Desperate Housewives" .... Katherine Mayfair (18 episodes, 2007-2008)
Live Nude Girls (1995) .... Jill
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Sheila Kingston: No matter what your sexual preference, true love is always the ultimate fantasy.
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| "Titillating Tripe" | 2008-05-13 |
| - Reviewed By M. R. Reagan from New England |
I first viewed this movie on HBO or something several years ago and was quite intrigued by the plot premise. My opinion is that this COULD have been an interesting and stimulating exploration of human kink...(but NOOOOOOOOO). I thought the movie began to explore and illustrate some of the mental and emotional aspects of a dominant/submissive relationship and found the scene of bondage and light discipline exciting and exhilerating. But then....the meddling hands of Gary Marshall et al, turned Ms. Rice's Exit To Eden into some bizarre hybrid from hell in hopes of increasing its commerical marketability.
I guess America is not ready for an honest, thought-provoking look at actual sexual/erotic behaviors. I'm really sorry Exit became Bowderized by the addition of "comedy" and a subversive co-plot. Maybe I'll read Ms. Rice's book before someone starts burning them. |
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 "Extremely funny and sexy!" | 2008-04-12 |
| - Reviewed By lm from Aspen, CO |
| Exit To Eden is a deliciously funny & sexy movie! I wish I had a copy of my own. |
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| "are you confused about this movie?" | 2007-10-06 |
| - Reviewed By An Amazon User |
wow some people got the wrong idea about his movie! one person seems to think this movie was a horror movie which is just retarded. then going off on rossie o'donneled and the director because its a s&m type movie. take in to consideration that this movie was made in '94 so rossie wasn't out of the closet fully, and she wasn't a hated fatty yet. ok so just avert your eyes during her half naked seens or live with it.
now i liked this movie it was a good concept and worth watching for late night TV. the plot it self gets lost and found and lost and found, so try to look at it as a movie of finding love. rather than 2 cops running around an island of s&m looking for a guy with pictures while at the same time chasing murders. sorry thats the movie didn't mean to ruin it but theres much more to it. like i said, finding love, the main actor can't find it and goes to this island for what ever reason. the main actress also can't find it or doesn't relize what she needs is love, until she actualy falls in love. the side plots are good and yes it has some funny parts that are really just one liners. alright well thats all i suggest this movie to others but keep it mind the s&m parts and that its not all s&m more of an utopian island where sex and nakedness and the norm. like with any movie you like it of you don't!! |
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 "Paul Mercurio's bare buns" | 2006-09-17 |
| - Reviewed By jddeferbrache |
Firsthand, as a movie in itself, this is [...]. The original novel by Anne Rice titled "Exit to Eden" plunged fearlessly into the depths of an alternate sexual lifestyle, bringing S&M from a shady dungeon into the light of an island paradise where people were given the chance to explore and understand their sexual fantasies in a safe and open environment. The journey toward sexual understanding (and understanding of the self) that Lisa the dominatrix, and Elliot, her slave, find themselves on, is at the forefront.
In the film, these two characters take on supporting roles in a version of the story that is embarrassed and uncomfortable with its own premise and uses sad, insecure humor to cover it. Dan Aykroyd and Rosie O'Donnell are brought in as two undercover cops who stand around like a couple of uncomfortable teenagers who have snuck into a sex club, making cheesy, lame jokes about the island and what it is there for. The island itself is reduced to a poofy, kink theme park of masters and slaves who do not delve into their curiosities so much as tiptoe around them, half the time too shy to say the word "sex." In other words, if you are interested in S&M or are looking for a movie that does this lifestyle justice, or for that matter makes an interesting speculation on sexuality of any kind, look elsewhere.
The best thing that this movie his to offer is the generous amount of screentime given to hot, naked bodies, earning it the category soft-core porn. Dana Delaney as Lisa(the most unconvincing dominatrix it is humanly possible to imagine) does take her clothes off, and Australian actor Paul Mercurio as Elliot, gives the audience a benevolent number of chances to see his naked [...]. This (for me) is actually the true highlight of the movie, and Mercurio gets naked enough to make it worth watching. The most erotic seen in the film is when Lisa ties up Elliot (or rather, wraps some velvet curtain cords around his hands one or two times) and spanks him with a hairbrush (well it's more like a tap than a spank). Okay, so this is not hardcore S&M by any means, but if you are interested in some soft-core porn and you have a thing for guys' butts (and believe me, Paul Mercurio's is worth seeing) than this movie is definitly worth taking a look at. My advice: speed through the parts with Rosie O'Donnell to get to Paul Mercurio.
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