"Just the Basics - good for preschoolers, school age may need more detail" | 2009-08-26 |
| - Reviewed By User: A2UQFOQYQCUN2F |
| This is a good book for introducing the idea to your children, especially young ones that need a simpler explanation. For a more detailed approach, for age 4 and up, I reccommend "The Right Touch." Overall, well done, and generic enough to use in a daycare or preschool classroom. |
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"An excellent primer on welcome and unwelcome touch." | 2009-07-28 |
| - Reviewed By alander1 |
I have two young children who were going to camp for the first time and I wanted something that was empowering and not scary. They haven't experienced sexual abuse, thank God, so this book was totally appropriate for them right now. Children who have had different experiences may need something more specific or graphic. But for young, inexperienced children I felt this book was awesome. I like the "Note to Parents" that provides some insights to parents just beginning to prepare their children for this issue. This book could be used to address any other types of inappropriate touching, not just the sexual type. This book *does* promote the child's autonomy appropriately.
People who think that this book doesn't promote enough "autonomy" on the child's part are suspect. That is subterfuge for "the child would 'choose' sexual touch with an adult" if they were given this "autonomy". Watch them. They are trying to manipulate you into thinking that "allowing" children to have more "autonomy" around who touches them is ok. Reader989898 is one of those people. Read his/her other reviews as well as the comments for his/her review of this book. I think Reader989898 is a classic real time example of a pedophile trying to insinuate his/her twisted beliefs into mainstream thought. I've read that most pedophiles have a very strong desire for validation.
We are the parents, we use common sense, empathy, education, and our gut to protect our children. Children will "play doctor" with each other or masturbate. This is nothing to be alarmed about and we deal with those issues according to our individual values (I'm committed to avoiding shame of course). Sexual touch by a much older (~2+ years depending on the kids involved) child or adult *is* something to protect your child from and empower them against. And this book does that.
I highly recommend this book. |
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"Touch Phobia" | 2009-05-31 |
| - Reviewed By frank83838 |
The author's main goal, as expressed by the title and in the introduction, is to teach that children should "...learn that being touched is their own choice, not another's; that `their bodies belong to them.'" That's an admirable goal, if somewhat radical. Traditionally parents and other adults have treated children's bodies as if they belong to us (mommy, daddy, etc.). Idealistically, children should be treated as autonomous individuals with their own rights, their own interests and their own desires.
But the text in this book doesn't wait long before contradicting the title and introductory note by promoting the idea that we don't want children to choose to be touched; we want them to choose to not be touched! "Some parts on your body should never be touched by other people..." That's not the way to empower children to make their own choices. It's a sneaky way to impose our preferences about what they should choose.
In the case of very young children, to whom this book is directed, autonomous choice may not be an appropriate goal because children need to be protected from serious injury. Although experience is often the best teacher, children tend to make a lot of mistakes, so we don't want to give them the opportunity to injure themselves.
The confusion begins when people assume that sexual contact (even sex play with peers) is usually seriously harmful, and hence there's an urgent need to protect children from any kind of sexual contact. (Curiously, the book doesn't mention self-masturbation. Does that imply it's acceptable or unthinkable? There should be some advice about appropriate hygiene.) But guess what? There is some evidence that sexual experience during childhood isn't usually seriously harmful.
The American Psychological Association published a study that found most adults who had sexual experience during childhood did not feel they were seriously injured by it. Another study published by doctors at Columbia University Children's Hospital (actually a meta-analysis of many studies) found that children were more harmed by the prudish attitudes and hysterical reactions of their parents than by the child's sexual experience itself.
Considering that evidence, responsible parents should think twice before terrorizing kids about "bad touch" or interrogating them after a casual report of sex play. Parents and other adults should be considered blameworthy if they worsen the effects of sexual experience or frighten children by exaggerating the dangers.
This short book isn't a substitute for comprehensive and balanced touch education. Amelia Auckett's book on baby and child massage recommends including the child's genital area in the massage. That's a view worth considering if you're tempted to steer a child's choices about wanting to be touched or not. If we take the main idea of this book seriously, that your body belongs to you, then we should cultivate the child's ability to make free and informed choices, not steer them to choose what we want them to choose.
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"Great intro book or classroom tool." | 2008-10-29 |
| - Reviewed By User: A8JHJKEV7MOZ2 |
| This book is a great resource for ages 3-6/7 to cover aspects of touching including unwanted touching, what to do if you don't want to be touched, areas of your body that are private and not keeping secrets. The great thing about this book is that overall it has a positive message - that most of the time kids like to be touched. This allows the book to be reader friendly to the children without scaring them. More importantly, it does not use specific body part language, instead referencing the area covered by your bathing suit as your "private parts". This makes it great for classroom use where the children are being introduced to their bodies and terminology at different times based on their curiosities and maturity (as determined best by the parents). I strongly disagree with any notion that a young child needs to know specific terminology in order to understand that certain areas of their body are private. With that said, children who are already familiar with this topic and have begun to have more specific questions about body parts and function or can grasp more complex scenarios may need a more advanced book on this topic (or you can just talk to them more specifically about it)! Overall, great first book to introduce your child about child abuse safety and suitable unoffensive book for classroom use. |
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"good for preschooler" | 2008-10-20 |
| - Reviewed By gjs76 |
| Since our 3.5 year old son attends a preschool with lots of different adults taking care of him I wanted to find a way to start talking to him about appropriate touching. I had no idea how to do this with a 3.5 year old so I looked through book reviews and decided on this book. It's a very mild approach to telling children about their bodies. It starts off focusing on hugging and how it's mostly a nice thing but you can tell someone if you don't want to be hugged etc.. It also discusses private areas covered by your bathing suit and telling mom if anyone were to ever touch those private areas. It's a good tool to use in teaching very young children about a very tricky subject. |
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"SMART book" | 2008-09-25 |
| - Reviewed By User: A38GQMQ5J6V1PR |
| This is a book that children can related to and adults can agree with. These things need to be talked about and taught to children. |
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