Reviews Written By: A1MZW5Z6RFSIZIprovided by Amazon.com |
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 | Spawn (Director's Cut) (New Line Platinum Series) | |
 | "This movie makes Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles look like Schinlder's List." | 2009-07-06 |
| I had always had a weird curiosity about this movie but I didn't even remember it existed until recently when a friend mentioned it during a discussion. He basically told me it was one of the worst movies he had ever seen and it peaked my interest even more because it didn't look THAT bad from the previews I remembered. The story/screenplay is laughable at best. The premise is cool and I know the actual comic book is much moe brutal and unrelenting(which is why this movie seemed like it had some hope, at least). The writers did a lot more telling than showing, however, and scenes like Spawn's "training" with Mr. old-guy-always-appearing-out-of-thin-air is just plain ridiculous. It took Luke years to gain even rudimentary knowledge of the Force in Star Wars and yet Spawn seems to learn how to use any ability he wants when a guy tells him that he has "trillions of nerves" he can control. Give me a break. Not only is this just plain bad writing, but the director doesn't even pass it off well by giving it at least some kind of weight. The scene takes all of a minute to develope and by the end Spawn is able to control more abilities than god just by "thinking" of performing the action. Awesome. The actors are likewise a travesty. The guy who plays Spawn doesn't have a fully-developed acting bone in his body. Gritting your teeth and talking like you're a badd-arse from the streets of south-side Chicago doesn't constitute believability. Martin Sheene makes his son Charlie look like the best actor in Hollywood, but I don't really blame him. I'm sure the director told him to camp up his performance so as to appear like a sadistic madman. The problem is that nothing is developed with his character. He just starts out at "madman" and end's at "madman." The whole "Spawn fights for his gf" bologny is just as stupid. We never see them together and don't get any chance to inest feelings of compassion in either character. We just see a few flashbacks showing his laughable moments of closeness between Spawn and his cardboard gf. The Clown form of Violator was obnoxious and not even slightly funny. He goes from making harmless jokes that are PG-13 to R within the same sentence as well, which makes no sense. If he is going to be lude, make him lude the whole movie. If he is making jokes like Bob Saget, then let him do so for the whole movie. Mixing and matching just made no sense, as if he didn't want to offend poor Spawn. I don't know where to even begin on the other actors. The story was terrible. I don't know if it follows the comicbook all that closelly, but I would certainly hope not. Even something like Batman or the X-men often gives a lot of good writing and useful sections that help see the true character of the heroes. Granted, comicbooks offer didactic "good vs. evil" montages, but they're generally done quite well. The whole scheme to get Spawn to command the armies of Hell wasn't needed. They could have easily made him do it from the get-go, before he decided to fight for "good". I know they needed some kind of plot, but there are much better ways to try and bring these characters together. I was expecting some cool fight scenes at the very least. Violator is a great villian with a lot of potential, as are all of McFarlane's creations, the problem is that he is terribly portrayed yet again. He just runs around grabbing people instead of outright destroying them. He wouldn't toy with his victims by batting them around. Just freakin eat them or smash their faces in. Not only that, but how the heck does something that big and loud "hide" from Spawn on more than one occasion? Honestly. One chase scene doesn't even serve a purpose in the film other than to oblige action film fans who seem to think it's mandatory. Couldn't Spawn just fly around instead of riding a motorcycle? *sigh* The effects for Violator and Spawn's chains/cape were pretty well done for 1997, I will say, but thats unfortunatelly the best part of the whole movie and that's not saying much. The effects usesd to create Hell were also poorly done. It looks more like a big red backdrop that someone threw a bag of Cheetos all over, it was not intimidating in any way(again, I think this was a poor choice by screenwriter/director to even include this setting when cg effects clearly weren't going to cut it in 1997). It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, but it is certainly up there. From the terrible acting to the horrendous script to the poorly constructed "motivation" behind anyones actions, it's just a very bad film. I would hope that someone has the courage at some point soon to renew the interest in the franchise by making a legitimate film with todays technology. The most important part of any film to this day is still a great screenplay, however, and until we get that, this superhero has no hope. I only recommend this to filmmakers who wish to use it as a reference point for what NOT to do or avid fans of the comicbook. | ||
 | Spawn | |
| "This movie makes Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles look like Schinlder's List." | 2009-07-06 |
| I had always had a weird curiosity about this movie but I didn't even remember it existed until recently when a friend mentioned it during a discussion. He basically told me it was one of the worst movies he had ever seen and it peaked my interest even more because it didn't look THAT bad from the previews I remembered. The story/screenplay is laughable at best. The premise is cool and I know the actual comic book is much moe brutal and unrelenting(which is why this movie seemed like it had some hope, at least). The writers did a lot more telling than showing, however, and scenes like Spawn's "training" with Mr. old-guy-always-appearing-out-of-thin-air is just plain ridiculous. It took Luke years to gain even rudimentary knowledge of the Force in Star Wars and yet Spawn seems to learn how to use any ability he wants when a guy tells him that he has "trillions of nerves" he can control. Give me a break. Not only is this just plain bad writing, but the director doesn't even pass it off well by giving it at least some kind of weight. The scene takes all of a minute to develope and by the end Spawn is able to control more abilities than god just by "thinking" of performing the action. Awesome. The actors are likewise a travesty. The guy who plays Spawn doesn't have a fully-developed acting bone in his body. Gritting your teeth and talking like you're a badd-arse from the streets of south-side Chicago doesn't constitute believability. Martin Sheene makes his son Charlie look like the best actor in Hollywood, but I don't really blame him. I'm sure the director told him to camp up his performance so as to appear like a sadistic madman. The problem is that nothing is developed with his character. He just starts out at "madman" and end's at "madman." The whole "Spawn fights for his gf" bologny is just as stupid. We never see them together and don't get any chance to inest feelings of compassion in either character. We just see a few flashbacks showing his laughable moments of closeness between Spawn and his cardboard gf. The Clown form of Violator was obnoxious and not even slightly funny. He goes from making harmless jokes that are PG-13 to R within the same sentence as well, which makes no sense. If he is going to be lude, make him lude the whole movie. If he is making jokes like Bob Saget, then let him do so for the whole movie. Mixing and matching just made no sense, as if he didn't want to offend poor Spawn. I don't know where to even begin on the other actors. The story was terrible. I don't know if it follows the comicbook all that closelly, but I would certainly hope not. Even something like Batman or the X-men often gives a lot of good writing and useful sections that help see the true character of the heroes. Granted, comicbooks offer didactic "good vs. evil" montages, but they're generally done quite well. The whole scheme to get Spawn to command the armies of Hell wasn't needed. They could have easily made him do it from the get-go, before he decided to fight for "good". I know they needed some kind of plot, but there are much better ways to try and bring these characters together. I was expecting some cool fight scenes at the very least. Violator is a great villian with a lot of potential, as are all of McFarlane's creations, the problem is that he is terribly portrayed yet again. He just runs around grabbing people instead of outright destroying them. He wouldn't toy with his victims by batting them around. Just freakin eat them or smash their faces in. Not only that, but how the heck does something that big and loud "hide" from Spawn on more than one occasion? Honestly. One chase scene doesn't even serve a purpose in the film other than to oblige action film fans who seem to think it's mandatory. Couldn't Spawn just fly around instead of riding a motorcycle? *sigh* The effects for Violator and Spawn's chains/cape were pretty well done for 1997, I will say, but thats unfortunatelly the best part of the whole movie and that's not saying much. The effects usesd to create Hell were also poorly done. It looks more like a big red backdrop that someone threw a bag of Cheetos all over, it was not intimidating in any way(again, I think this was a poor choice by screenwriter/director to even include this setting when cg effects clearly weren't going to cut it in 1997). It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, but it is certainly up there. From the terrible acting to the horrendous script to the poorly constructed "motivation" behind anyones actions, it's just a very bad film. I would hope that someone has the courage at some point soon to renew the interest in the franchise by making a legitimate film with todays technology. The most important part of any film to this day is still a great screenplay, however, and until we get that, this superhero has no hope. I only recommend this to filmmakers who wish to use it as a reference point for what NOT to do or avid fans of the comicbook. | ||
 | Spawn | |
| "This movie makes Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles look like Schinlder's List." | 2009-07-06 |
| I had always had a weird curiosity about this movie but I didn't even remember it existed until recently when a friend mentioned it during a discussion. He basically told me it was one of the worst movies he had ever seen and it peaked my interest even more because it didn't look THAT bad from the previews I remembered. The story/screenplay is laughable at best. The premise is cool and I know the actual comic book is much moe brutal and unrelenting(which is why this movie seemed like it had some hope, at least). The writers did a lot more telling than showing, however, and scenes like Spawn's "training" with Mr. old-guy-always-appearing-out-of-thin-air is just plain ridiculous. It took Luke years to gain even rudimentary knowledge of the Force in Star Wars and yet Spawn seems to learn how to use any ability he wants when a guy tells him that he has "trillions of nerves" he can control. Give me a break. Not only is this just plain bad writing, but the director doesn't even pass it off well by giving it at least some kind of weight. The scene takes all of a minute to develope and by the end Spawn is able to control more abilities than god just by "thinking" of performing the action. Awesome. The actors are likewise a travesty. The guy who plays Spawn doesn't have a fully-developed acting bone in his body. Gritting your teeth and talking like you're a badd-arse from the streets of south-side Chicago doesn't constitute believability. Martin Sheene makes his son Charlie look like the best actor in Hollywood, but I don't really blame him. I'm sure the director told him to camp up his performance so as to appear like a sadistic madman. The problem is that nothing is developed with his character. He just starts out at "madman" and end's at "madman." The whole "Spawn fights for his gf" bologny is just as stupid. We never see them together and don't get any chance to inest feelings of compassion in either character. We just see a few flashbacks showing his laughable moments of closeness between Spawn and his cardboard gf. The Clown form of Violator was obnoxious and not even slightly funny. He goes from making harmless jokes that are PG-13 to R within the same sentence as well, which makes no sense. If he is going to be lude, make him lude the whole movie. If he is making jokes like Bob Saget, then let him do so for the whole movie. Mixing and matching just made no sense, as if he didn't want to offend poor Spawn. I don't know where to even begin on the other actors. The story was terrible. I don't know if it follows the comicbook all that closelly, but I would certainly hope not. Even something like Batman or the X-men often gives a lot of good writing and useful sections that help see the true character of the heroes. Granted, comicbooks offer didactic "good vs. evil" montages, but they're generally done quite well. The whole scheme to get Spawn to command the armies of Hell wasn't needed. They could have easily made him do it from the get-go, before he decided to fight for "good". I know they needed some kind of plot, but there are much better ways to try and bring these characters together. I was expecting some cool fight scenes at the very least. Violator is a great villian with a lot of potential, as are all of McFarlane's creations, the problem is that he is terribly portrayed yet again. He just runs around grabbing people instead of outright destroying them. He wouldn't toy with his victims by batting them around. Just freakin eat them or smash their faces in. Not only that, but how the heck does something that big and loud "hide" from Spawn on more than one occasion? Honestly. One chase scene doesn't even serve a purpose in the film other than to oblige action film fans who seem to think it's mandatory. Couldn't Spawn just fly around instead of riding a motorcycle? *sigh* The effects for Violator and Spawn's chains/cape were pretty well done for 1997, I will say, but thats unfortunatelly the best part of the whole movie and that's not saying much. The effects usesd to create Hell were also poorly done. It looks more like a big red backdrop that someone threw a bag of Cheetos all over, it was not intimidating in any way(again, I think this was a poor choice by screenwriter/director to even include this setting when cg effects clearly weren't going to cut it in 1997). It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, but it is certainly up there. From the terrible acting to the horrendous script to the poorly constructed "motivation" behind anyones actions, it's just a very bad film. I would hope that someone has the courage at some point soon to renew the interest in the franchise by making a legitimate film with todays technology. The most important part of any film to this day is still a great screenplay, however, and until we get that, this superhero has no hope. I only recommend this to filmmakers who wish to use it as a reference point for what NOT to do or avid fans of the comicbook. | ||
 | Spawn 2 | |
| "This movie makes Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles look like Schinlder's List." | 2009-07-06 |
| I had always had a weird curiosity about this movie but I didn't even remember it existed until recently when a friend mentioned it during a discussion. He basically told me it was one of the worst movies he had ever seen and it peaked my interest even more because it didn't look THAT bad from the previews I remembered. The story/screenplay is laughable at best. The premise is cool and I know the actual comic book is much moe brutal and unrelenting(which is why this movie seemed like it had some hope, at least). The writers did a lot more telling than showing, however, and scenes like Spawn's "training" with Mr. old-guy-always-appearing-out-of-thin-air is just plain ridiculous. It took Luke years to gain even rudimentary knowledge of the Force in Star Wars and yet Spawn seems to learn how to use any ability he wants when a guy tells him that he has "trillions of nerves" he can control. Give me a break. Not only is this just plain bad writing, but the director doesn't even pass it off well by giving it at least some kind of weight. The scene takes all of a minute to develope and by the end Spawn is able to control more abilities than god just by "thinking" of performing the action. Awesome. The actors are likewise a travesty. The guy who plays Spawn doesn't have a fully-developed acting bone in his body. Gritting your teeth and talking like you're a badd-arse from the streets of south-side Chicago doesn't constitute believability. Martin Sheene makes his son Charlie look like the best actor in Hollywood, but I don't really blame him. I'm sure the director told him to camp up his performance so as to appear like a sadistic madman. The problem is that nothing is developed with his character. He just starts out at "madman" and end's at "madman." The whole "Spawn fights for his gf" bologny is just as stupid. We never see them together and don't get any chance to inest feelings of compassion in either character. We just see a few flashbacks showing his laughable moments of closeness between Spawn and his cardboard gf. The Clown form of Violator was obnoxious and not even slightly funny. He goes from making harmless jokes that are PG-13 to R within the same sentence as well, which makes no sense. If he is going to be lude, make him lude the whole movie. If he is making jokes like Bob Saget, then let him do so for the whole movie. Mixing and matching just made no sense, as if he didn't want to offend poor Spawn. I don't know where to even begin on the other actors. The story was terrible. I don't know if it follows the comicbook all that closelly, but I would certainly hope not. Even something like Batman or the X-men often gives a lot of good writing and useful sections that help see the true character of the heroes. Granted, comicbooks offer didactic "good vs. evil" montages, but they're generally done quite well. The whole scheme to get Spawn to command the armies of Hell wasn't needed. They could have easily made him do it from the get-go, before he decided to fight for "good". I know they needed some kind of plot, but there are much better ways to try and bring these characters together. I was expecting some cool fight scenes at the very least. Violator is a great villian with a lot of potential, as are all of McFarlane's creations, the problem is that he is terribly portrayed yet again. He just runs around grabbing people instead of outright destroying them. He wouldn't toy with his victims by batting them around. Just freakin eat them or smash their faces in. Not only that, but how the heck does something that big and loud "hide" from Spawn on more than one occasion? Honestly. One chase scene doesn't even serve a purpose in the film other than to oblige action film fans who seem to think it's mandatory. Couldn't Spawn just fly around instead of riding a motorcycle? *sigh* The effects for Violator and Spawn's chains/cape were pretty well done for 1997, I will say, but thats unfortunatelly the best part of the whole movie and that's not saying much. The effects usesd to create Hell were also poorly done. It looks more like a big red backdrop that someone threw a bag of Cheetos all over, it was not intimidating in any way(again, I think this was a poor choice by screenwriter/director to even include this setting when cg effects clearly weren't going to cut it in 1997). It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, but it is certainly up there. From the terrible acting to the horrendous script to the poorly constructed "motivation" behind anyones actions, it's just a very bad film. I would hope that someone has the courage at some point soon to renew the interest in the franchise by making a legitimate film with todays technology. The most important part of any film to this day is still a great screenplay, however, and until we get that, this superhero has no hope. I only recommend this to filmmakers who wish to use it as a reference point for what NOT to do or avid fans of the comicbook. | ||
 | Spawn | |
| "This movie makes Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles look like Schinlder's List." | 2009-07-06 |
| I had always had a weird curiosity about this movie but I didn't even remember it existed until recently when a friend mentioned it during a discussion. He basically told me it was one of the worst movies he had ever seen and it peaked my interest even more because it didn't look THAT bad from the previews I remembered.
The story/screenplay is laughable at best. The premise is cool and I know the actual comic book is much moe brutal and unrelenting(which is why this movie seemed like it had some hope, at least). The writers did a lot more telling than showing, however, and scenes like Spawn's "training" with Mr. old-guy-always-appearing-out-of-thin-air is just plain ridiculous. It took Luke years to gain even rudimentary knowledge of the Force in Star Wars and yet Spawn seems to learn how to use any ability he wants when a guy tells him that he has "trillions of nerves" he can control. Give me a break. Not only is this just plain bad writing, but the director doesn't even pass it off well by giving it at least some kind of weight. The scene takes all of a minute to develope and by the end Spawn is able to control more abilities than god just by "thinking" of performing the action. Awesome. The actors are likewise a travesty. The guy who plays Spawn doesn't have a fully-developed acting bone in his body. Gritting your teeth and talking like you're a badd-arse from the streets of south-side Chicago doesn't constitute believability. Martin Sheene makes his son Charlie look like the best actor in Hollywood, but I don't really blame him. I'm sure the director told him to camp up his performance so as to appear like a sadistic madman. The problem is that nothing is developed with his character. He just starts out at "madman" and end's at "madman." The whole "Spawn fights for his gf" bologny is just as stupid. We never see them together and don't get any chance to inest feelings of compassion in either character. We just see a few flashbacks showing his laughable moments of closeness between Spawn and his cardboard gf. The Clown form of Violator was obnoxious and not even slightly funny. He goes from making harmless jokes that are PG-13 to R within the same sentence as well, which makes no sense. If he is going to be lude, make him lude the whole movie. If he is making jokes like Bob Saget, then let him do so for the whole movie. Mixing and matching just made no sense, as if he didn't want to offend poor Spawn. I don't know where to even begin on the other actors. The story was terrible. I don't know if it follows the comicbook all that closelly, but I would certainly hope not. Even something like Batman or the X-men often gives a lot of good writing and useful sections that help see the true character of the heroes. Granted, comicbooks offer didactic "good vs. evil" montages, but they're generally done quite well. The whole scheme to get Spawn to command the armies of Hell wasn't needed. They could have easily made him do it from the get-go, before he decided to fight for "good". I know they needed some kind of plot, but there are much better ways to try and bring these characters together. I was expecting some cool fight scenes at the very least. Violator is a great villian with a lot of potential, as are all of McFarlane's creations, the problem is that he is terribly portrayed yet again. He just runs around grabbing people instead of outright destroying them. He wouldn't toy with his victims by batting them around. Just freakin eat them or smash their faces in. Not only that, but how the heck does something that big and loud "hide" from Spawn on more than one occasion? Honestly. One chase scene doesn't even serve a purpose in the film other than to oblige action film fans who seem to think it's mandatory. Couldn't Spawn just fly around instead of riding a motorcycle? *sigh* The effects for Violator and Spawn's chains/cape were pretty well done for 1997, I will say, but thats unfortunatelly the best part of the whole movie and that's not saying much. The effects usesd to create Hell were also poorly done. It looks more like a big red backdrop that someone threw a bag of Cheetos all over, it was not intimidating in any way(again, I think this was a poor choice by screenwriter/director to even include this setting when cg effects clearly weren't going to cut it in 1997). It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, but it is certainly up there. From the terrible acting to the horrendous script to the poorly constructed "motivation" behind anyones actions, it's just a very bad film. I would hope that someone has the courage at some point soon to renew the interest in the franchise by making a legitimate film with todays technology. The most important part of any film to this day is still a great screenplay, however, and until we get that, this superhero has no hope. I only recommend this to filmmakers who wish to use it as a reference point for what NOT to do or avid fans of the comicbook. | ||
 | Xenogears | |
 | "Nearly ten years later, its just as good as it was when I bought it, perhaps better." | 2009-02-01 |
| Every now and again a videogame comes along that attempts to do something too few strive for. Rpg's are known for their heavy reliance on story and character relationships, but few ever really do anything about it. Xenogears is the RPG that does not follow the curve, but instead breaks it and reshapes it. I've only played one other series that compares in theme and storytelling, Metal Gear Solid. The thing that sets them both apart is the value the developer's placed in creating a rich history and backbone to support the gaming world built on top of it. The story in this game touches on everything from philosophy and the meaning of life, to racism and the ongoing desire of humanity to view the world as group of seperate nations instead of seeing as what it really is, the same planet we all live on and try to survive on. The psychological figure that is the main hero, Fei Fong Wong, is something that only FFVII has tried to do with a chracter. The story is mostly about his torn identity. It is played out over the stage of the world and has more to do with the rest of humanity than he seems to realize. Does that mean he's the only character with real, human prodblems? Absolutelly not. His love interest is just as mentally fragile, as are all of the characters that take this amazing journey with him. This story is set against the backdrop of religion and the effect our actions will and do have on the planet we live on, which in turn effects all of our famalies for generations to come. Does this sound like an impossible task to take, trying to sum up all of these themes and stories in a piece of software that will only last about 40-50 hours? In most cases, it is, but not in the case of Xenogears. The gameplay does not take a backseat to any of this, however. The battle system was, and still is, unique and invigorating. It is a unique blend of turn-based combat and combo-driven mechanic's that always keep you on your toes. The graphics and music were about as high quality as you could get at the time. There is enough gameplay to keep you playing this game for upwards of 70 hours on your first playthru. There are cutscenes that show the war of nations played out through the use of giant robots and battleships that stir the senses. I can't overplay how much qaulity was put into this game's gameplay, and never at the expense of the bigger picture. If you never play this game, you're only hurting yourself by not having had one of the most incredibly rich gaming experiences of all time. This game should be emulated by all, but its pretty damn hard to follow such a class act. | ||
 | Death - Sound of Perseverance | |
| "The last material of a true metal guitar hero." | 2008-10-17 |
| Chuck was and is one of the best guitarists/songwriters to ever grace the detah metal genre. Having almost single-handedly created the genre from within back in the 80's, his influence is endless within the genre. This album somehow goes above and beyond the utterly astounding Symbolic, which in its time was simply genre-defining. This album does even more to bring metal to the next level, more even than probably Chuck could have envisioned. It won album of the year in almost every metal publication around at the time and that alone should tell its worth. As one of the reviewers said, this album is full of wacky tempo changes, incredible cymbal work on the part of Cristy, double-bass beats that I have still never heard splashed beneath the rest of the kit as they are on this cd, and every piece of it drives the songs straight into your gut. His work on this album is as beautiful as death metal drumming can get and certainly on par with the stuff from Symbolic. The guitar work is endlessly creative and fresh, completelly driven by Chuck's dynamic guitar whine and tone that near pierces your skull at points(during possibly the best acoustic metal song I've ever heard on this album, I swear you can feel him playing and it literally gives me chills every single time I hear that song to this day as it almost stands as a tribute to a person who died much too young). His forward-thinking approach to melodies and meter/tempo is something I've still not heard done all that well since its release. His love for Judas Priest gleans true at least 3 times on the album as well as he churns out some perfect melodic thrash riffs that make me want to hit the gas pedal and punch it every time I hear them. Even the basswork is something to behold at points as Chuck acutally makes it part of the foreground in many of the compositions. If this album is prog, then the bass is surelly the keys of this album as it almost always drive the time changes and odd sounding riffage. There is so much to say about this album, especially seeing as how it was a mere glimpse into the mind of a man who really sought to drive metal into a new place in the hearts of music fans. He successfully blended melody, technicality, brutality, and accessibility with this album, if the listener gives it enough chance. It has speed, finesse, and flash and doesn't comform to metal trends. Every note has its place, even if it sounds out of place. Many bands have tried to do this again, and I've read time and time again in cd reviews "The new successor to Death has finaly arrived!" or "The Sound of Perserverance part II!" and it is never even close to the real deal. This album should honestly go down in the annals of musical history as one of the top 5 metal albums of all-time. Personally, I place both it and Symbolic at either #2 or #3 all-time. The saddest part is that such a great person in Chuck Schuldiner had to leave this earth so soon and take with him the potential of an entire musical genre. He was someone people probably wouldn't associate with death metal if they ever spoke to him as he was a truelly remarkable and intelligent person, which so plays into how the music was created. If he were here today, I would thank him for music that will go with me until the end. This cd is simply the culmination of a man's dream, and a damn fine one at that. R.I.P Chuck, wherever you are. | ||
 | Therion - Secret of the Runes | |
| "Possibly Therion in their most perfect form..." | 2008-09-15 |
| ...but then again its hard to really pin down what that means. Many fans consider it to be Vovin or, most specifically, Theli, but I disagree. Just because those albums came first does not mean they define the band. If thats the case, I'm so pissed right now because I thought Therion was actually a death/grind band(go listen to their first two albums). I prefer to think of the post 2000 era Therion as the "true Therion" as it were. Christopher has always strained himself to create a full musical experience for the listener. He does not approach a cd with any given preconceptions as to how many lead guitar riffs there will be in an album, nor how many flute segments there might be, they just happen, and I think its somewhat dim to suggest that there being less of a metal aspect in their music is any indication that its not a good Therion record. I'm a metalhead, simple as that, always have been. I find it very hard when listening to Therion to nit be completelly engrossed in the absolute beauty in the amount of sheer content there is to explore on any of their cd's, however. The first song is a great metal track, but there is a bridge about halfway through this song where the most gentle flute melody plays against the guitar and drum tracks and I get chills to this very day from how fitting it is. I was always astounded by the way this album captures the atmosphere and cultural feeling of the Norse. Johnsson is an absolute master of using a certain melodic tone throughout his compositions to give you the feeling of the concept he is trying to allude to(Sirius/Lumeria is an even better example in some regard). From beginning to end, this album is a journey through a metal opera only Therion can provide. If your prefer your metal more tasteful and spattered liberally throughout a the more than ample woodwind and brass cacophony, then this is for you. If your here for an album driven exclusivelly by the masterful guitar riffage of Neimann, then look elsewhere. This album is the epitomy of Symphonic music and should be much more widelly appreciatted. | ||
 | Uncharted: Drake's Fortune | |
| "*Hums the Indy them* Vote Drake for the next Indy!" | 2008-09-03 |
| This game was a HUGE surprise for me. I knew it would be good, but I wasn't really interested until I heard about some comparison's to one of my fav old games, pitfall. I ordered this game and beat it within 3 days of its arrival on my doorstep. I absolutelly cannot wait until Uncharted 2 is released. This game is 1 part Pitfall, 2 parts Tomb Raider, 1/2 part Syphon Filter(control-wise), and 5 parts hollywood adventure film. Never before have I seen a game come so close to an actual movie in script, story, and dialogue(note that I played this before MGS4 came out ;p ) and actually laughed out loud many times during the journey. The voice acting is outstanding and the script is quite witty for videogame fair. The movie scenes are always short and too the point, but compelling while they last. It really feels like your there in the midst of the chase-scenes and such. The atmosphere of the game is its greatest asset though as the landscape is shwon in near perfect detail. I have never seen the lighting or gorgeous sunlight effects this game has in any other "console" game. Climbing from ledge to ledge, I actually found myself at points just angling the camera a bit to catch the perfect view of the distant sunset shimmering off the nearby plane wreckage, or the waterfalls cascading down 100 feet below to a rapidly flowing river waiting for you to fall headlong into its depths. The shooting elements, the platforming elements, and everything in between is perfect. I figured this game would just have some lame throwback shooting system but its actually very fine-tuned and works better than most I've played. If you played Gears of War and thought those controls were to your liking due to the tightness in all aspects, then you will find solace in the fact that these controls feel just as simple and smooth. The only drawback I can think of for this game is that its much too short. You can beat it under 10 hours, maybe less than 5-6 if you really know where your going. I can't express enough, however, that this absolutelly does NOT mean you should bypass this gaming journey. On the contrary, the short time you spend playing this game will only serve to stregthen the experience as you will probably find yourself appreciating it that much more for its jam-packed content. | ||
![Reign Over Me [Blu-ray]](product_images/4936000/4936787-reign-over-me-blu-ray_thumb.jpg) | Reign Over Me [Blu-ray] | |
| "Adam Sandler's definitive drama role and a very nice surprise!" | 2008-08-20 |
| I love Adam Sandler, first off. I'm a huge fan of idiotic comedies such as Billy Madison and grew up as a teen about the same time they came out, so he's a bit of a favirote of mine as a comedic actor. The best part I think about Adam is that he does most of the writing and stuff for his material and LOVES to bring in his friends to play a small role in almost every movie he makes. Recently, however, his movies have developed a lot more plot sense and they are becoming less and less like the Adam we all know and love, such as 40 First Dates(a very sweet love story, but hilarious all the while) and Reign Over Me. This movie came as a bit of a surprise for me and my fiance. I had no idea it had a contextual story based on the events of 9/11 until I watched it. There have been a few stinkers in my mind(Twin Towers and the other film I forget the name of right now) that tried to represent a real picture of the 9/11 tragedy. This movie is not in any way like those movies. Reign Over Me attemptes to portray a real life, honest-to-goodness account of someone who's life was directly impacted by the attack, but it never takes center stage. Adam plays Charlie Fineman, a man who has lost himself in the wake of the 9/11 attacks. I don't like giving too mucgh info on the plot so, long storry short, Don Cheadle is an old, but very close, friend to Charlie and discovers him one day in New York and they begin to rekindle the friendship they once had. The friendship serves as he backbone of the entire movie and is really heartwarming, I must say, you feel like Sandler and Cheadle have been friends for years and they do exceedingly well at pulling off their respective roles. Cheadle's character also stands to gain a lot of perspective from this renewed friendship and the bond they reforge is eventually what causes Charlie to begin to come back to reality. There is a moment in the movie, I won't say which because you'll know if you watch it, where both I and my fiance could not help but cry. Sandler's performance truelly surprised me and I am extremelly happy to say it shows his real skill as an actor. I'm not much of a cryer myself, being a "man" and all >.< but I recently rewatched the movie, by myself, and I cried harder this time than I did the first. I already love Cheadle as an actor and he is very well known as a strong support or lead ever since Hotel Rowanda, so I don't think I need to say much about his performance at all. All in all, I think this movie should have been nominated for some academy awards but it was overlooked, most likelly due to the fact that Adam Sandler was cast as the lead and god forbid they take him seriously. This movie is funny, sad, happy, heart-wrenching, and ultimatelly satisfying and I hope this review makes more people go out and buy it because I honestly feel you will walk away from the experience feeling nearly as satisfied as I did. | ||
 | Chrono Cross | |
| "Chrono Trigger this is not folks." | 2008-08-04 |
| I have played almost every rpg ever made for almost all systems, thats how long I've been a gamer and Chrono Trigger will always be in my top five, not for the story but just for sure fun-factor and inventiveness. In hindsight, I don't actually believe Chrono Trigger is nearly good as I once did when I was a kid, but it still blows this game out of the water. I didn't hate this game either, don't get me wrong, but its just not there. The graphics for the time were amazing I suppose and the battle system is different(often to the point of annoyance), but different isn't always good. They tried to create a plotline as lofty and intricate as something like Xenogears. You go to so many places and meet WAAAAAAY too many party members to the point where they all seem to lose their respective "face." You only really need the first two main party members and then pick one more from the other gazillion to form your party. Honestly, I thought the choice to add so many potential members was quite stupid. Also, I feel the storyline is too confusing. Havign beat this game a few years ago I remember almost nothing of what actually happened except for the fact I had already forgotten about most of it before I was even doen with the game, which usually doesn't mark a very enthralling affair in my eyes. Many people love this game, and I suppose if you try to play it as a game set apart from the Chrono "franchise," as it were, it is a fair stand-alone outing. The Chrono tag is merely a means to an end, however, it is there to sell the game. This game has nothing to do with the original except in name and the use of timetravel. I would not recommend this game as a good rpg to start off on if you've never played one before. If you want the best of the best rpg's then go pick up Persona 3, FF7/FFX/FFXII, Xenogears, Star Ocean, or Suikoden 2/3/5, to name a few. This one can easily be bypassed. | ||
 | Me, Myself & Irene | |
| "A Carrey classic!" | 2008-08-01 |
| I'm very surprised at all the subpar reviews of this movie. Comedies these days aren't generally very fulfilling in terms of plot(just look at most of Sandler's earlier films). If you go into a movie like this thinking your going to be watching the next schinlder's list then you are going to be wildy disappointed. I mean look at the Austen Powers series, those movies were huge and there is absolutelly NO real plot in any of the three. Crap happens in them sure and it seems to flow in some general direction, but its just a vehicle for the bits stuck in between. That said, this movie has some truelly hilarious moments in it and I think is one of Carrey's best. I'm all for movie's like 50 first dates or stuck on you which were very funny films but were still sweet and meaningful thematically, but this film is just hilarious and twisted, thats all there is to it. In no other movie can you find a scene of someone getting beat down by a sex-toy, no big budget movie anyhow. If you love Jim Carrey then you probably love this movie, just don't go into thinking you going to get anything more out of it than the need to stitch your spleen. | ||
 | Me Myself & Irene | |
| "A Carrey classic!" | 2008-08-01 |
| I'm very surprised at all the subpar reviews of this movie. Comedies these days aren't generally very fulfilling in terms of plot(just look at most of Sandler's earlier films). If you go into a movie like this thinking your going to be watching the next schinlder's list then you are going to be wildy disappointed. I mean look at the Austen Powers series, those movies were huge and there is absolutelly NO real plot in any of the three. Crap happens in them sure and it seems to flow in some general direction, but its just a vehicle for the bits stuck in between. That said, this movie has some truelly hilarious moments in it and I think is one of Carrey's best. I'm all for movie's like 50 first dates or stuck on you which were very funny films but were still sweet and meaningful thematically, but this film is just hilarious and twisted, thats all there is to it. In no other movie can you find a scene of someone getting beat down by a sex-toy, no big budget movie anyhow. If you love Jim Carrey then you probably love this movie, just don't go into thinking you going to get anything more out of it than the need to stitch your spleen. | ||
 | Me, Myself & Irene | |
| "A Carrey classic!" | 2008-08-01 |
| I'm very surprised at all the subpar reviews of this movie. Comedies these days aren't generally very fulfilling in terms of plot(just look at most of Sandler's earlier films). If you go into a movie like this thinking your going to be watching the next schinlder's list then you are going to be wildy disappointed. I mean look at the Austen Powers series, those movies were huge and there is absolutelly NO real plot in any of the three. Crap happens in them sure and it seems to flow in some general direction, but its just a vehicle for the bits stuck in between. That said, this movie has some truelly hilarious moments in it and I think is one of Carrey's best. I'm all for movie's like 50 first dates or stuck on you which were very funny films but were still sweet and meaningful thematically, but this film is just hilarious and twisted, thats all there is to it. In no other movie can you find a scene of someone getting beat down by a sex-toy, no big budget movie anyhow. If you love Jim Carrey then you probably love this movie, just don't go into thinking you going to get anything more out of it than the need to stitch your spleen. | ||
 | Me, Myself & Irene | |
| "A Carrey classic!" | 2008-08-01 |
| I'm very surprised at all the subpar reviews of this movie. Comedies these days aren't generally very fulfilling in terms of plot(just look at most of Sandler's earlier films). If you go into a movie like this thinking your going to be watching the next schinlder's list then you are going to be wildy disappointed. I mean look at the Austen Powers series, those movies were huge and there is absolutelly NO real plot in any of the three. Crap happens in them sure and it seems to flow in some general direction, but its just a vehicle for the bits stuck in between. That said, this movie has some truelly hilarious moments in it and I think is one of Carrey's best. I'm all for movie's like 50 first dates or stuck on you which were very funny films but were still sweet and meaningful thematically, but this film is just hilarious and twisted, thats all there is to it. In no other movie can you find a scene of someone getting beat down by a sex-toy, no big budget movie anyhow. If you love Jim Carrey then you probably love this movie, just don't go into thinking you going to get anything more out of it than the need to stitch your spleen. | ||
 | Me, Myself & Irene | |
| "A Carrey classic!" | 2008-08-01 |
| I'm very surprised at all the subpar reviews of this movie. Comedies these days aren't generally very fulfilling in terms of plot(just look at most of Sandler's earlier films). If you go into a movie like this thinking your going to be watching the next schinlder's list then you are going to be wildy disappointed. I mean look at the Austen Powers series, those movies were huge and there is absolutelly NO real plot in any of the three. Crap happens in them sure and it seems to flow in some general direction, but its just a vehicle for the bits stuck in between. That said, this movie has some truelly hilarious moments in it and I think is one of Carrey's best. I'm all for movie's like 50 first dates or stuck on you which were very funny films but were still sweet and meaningful thematically, but this film is just hilarious and twisted, thats all there is to it. In no other movie can you find a scene of someone getting beat down by a sex-toy, no big budget movie anyhow. If you love Jim Carrey then you probably love this movie, just don't go into thinking you going to get anything more out of it than the need to stitch your spleen. | ||
 | Dream Theater - Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence | |
| "The possible pinnacle of DT's transcendance" | 2008-07-09 |
| I fail to see how anyone can say images and words is better than this album. I love the original DT as much as the next fan, but I actually feel everything after Awake almost outdoes anythign previous, especially this album and Scenes From a Memory. I'm not absolutelly in love with the 2nd concept cd in this set, but it has its moments. That said, the first cd with five nice, long DT style prog tracks is surelly some of the best in their catalogue. I honestly don't know why everyone wants to compare all their later cd's to Images and Words and Awake...those two albums just don't compare at all. I don't like writing a huge review about every track or anything to that degree, so all I will say is that, if you loved the Scenes... album, you will love this as well. This album quite possibly had the best production of any of their cd's as well. The second cd is somewhat weird at times and depends heavily on keyboards and unique melodies unlike most of their other cd's. The lyrics and whatnot are remeniscent of Scenes... in their context, but still different. I'm into DT for the guitar playing and killer drumming and their isn't too much of this except on about three of tracks on it, but, in the classic DT style, they never fail to impress even when giving you only a small snipet of their classic trademark progressive jamming. Bottomline: You need to own this album if you like DT at all. Hell, even if you don't like DT and are reading this, get off your rump and buy a copy, sit back and prepare to be astounded. | ||
 | Dream Theater - Falling Into Infinity | |
 | "I only give this 4 stars cuz its dream theater..." | 2008-06-18 |
| ...and they are probably my favirote band. Its hard for me to enjoy this album as much as their other's. I'm more into the Scenes from a Memory/Train of Thought type album's, as well as the earlier ones. This album was definatelly a departure for the band in that it takes a much more rockish feel. Most of it is slow to mid-paced and Portney is probably represented in his most conservative form on this album than any of the other DT albums. The physical sound of the album itself, the mix, is very much in a straightforward rock format. Gone is the reverb of arena band's, as is the more sharp prog/fusion sound, particularly in Mike's drumkit. The vocal melodies are also very Poppy on this album. All around it just feels stifled to me, for Dream Theater anyhow. If your used to the classic excellence in every word, riff, and bear, I'm not saying its not here, but I feel it's dealt out in a much more conservative fashion. My favirote part of Dt, as is probably with most of you, is the anticipated guitar/keyboard/drumkit flashdance in the middle of most of DT's songs. I relish every incredibley forward thinking note they toss about in these moments and this album just doesn't have enough of them IMHO. For any DT fan this is, of course, required listening, but if your the casual fan who is into the more heavy material then you might do fine just totally bypassing this mediocre showing. | ||
 | Police Academy 4 - Citizens on Patrol | |
| "The last in a great tradition." | 2008-06-07 |
| I am sad to see so many of the reviewers here are not even giving this movie or the other's in the series a fair chance. I'm not saying only fans should be allowed to review this series or anythign to that degree, but if you didn't watch the films in chronological order, then its sort of rough comparing them against one another. I grew up with these movie's when I was very young and I have nothing but fond memories of PA 1-4. PA 1 is and always will be the best in the series for its freshness. It is only natural that the same jokes over and over will wear you down as a series drags on *big nod towards the Austen Powers series* but does that make it a HORRIBLE movie? Cmon... ...Citizens on Patrol marked the last in the series for Guttenberg and, rightfully so, the last that really was a good attempt at trying to match the level of humor in the original. Bobcat actually added a lot to this one in particular, "LOOK OUT FOR THE PLANE!!! Oh the humanity..." <---always has me rolling on the floor during the port-o-potty scene. I can honestly say I dislike 5-7 in the series very much, possibly 7 being the only legitimate contender of the three, which isn't saying much. Bottom line: If you enjoyed PA 1, 2, or 3, you will enjoy 4, but do NOT, I repeat DO NOT go anywhere near 5, and view 6 and 7 only if you really desire to do so. | ||
 | Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol | |
| "The last in a great tradition." | 2008-06-07 |
| I am sad to see so many of the reviewers here are not even giving this movie or the other's in the series a fair chance. I'm not saying only fans should be allowed to review this series or anythign to that degree, but if you didn't watch the films in chronological order, then its sort of rough comparing them against one another. I grew up with these movie's when I was very young and I have nothing but fond memories of PA 1-4. PA 1 is and always will be the best in the series for its freshness. It is only natural that the same jokes over and over will wear you down as a series drags on *big nod towards the Austen Powers series* but does that make it a HORRIBLE movie? Cmon... ...Citizens on Patrol marked the last in the series for Guttenberg and, rightfully so, the last that really was a good attempt at trying to match the level of humor in the original. Bobcat actually added a lot to this one in particular, "LOOK OUT FOR THE PLANE!!! Oh the humanity..." <---always has me rolling on the floor during the port-o-potty scene. I can honestly say I dislike 5-7 in the series very much, possibly 7 being the only legitimate contender of the three, which isn't saying much. Bottom line: If you enjoyed PA 1, 2, or 3, you will enjoy 4, but do NOT, I repeat DO NOT go anywhere near 5, and view 6 and 7 only if you really desire to do so. | ||
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